• 
  Avoid getting drunk at parties. Alcohol lessens inhibitions and decreases your awareness. Therefore, you are more likely to do things that you would not do while sober. It is best to stay lucid, especially in the company of people you barely know. You become easy prey for someone with bad intentions watching for someone to hit on.
  
• Always watch your beverage, even if it is soda. Keep it with you at all times- carry it with you to the bathroom if necessary. Date rape drugs like rohypnol ("roofies"), gamma-hydroxybutyrate (GHB), and ketamine can easily be mixed into drinks when you are not looking. Such drugs can cause you to lose consciousness.
  
• Once you lose sight of your drink, do not consume any more of it. You do not know whether a substance had been added to your beverage at the time of your absence. Get another drink. Date rape's not worth it.
  
• Avoid going into secluded areas with your date until you trust him/her. Go on double dates until you feel comfortable being alone with your boyfriend/girlfriend.
  Date people you are familiar with.
  
• Be clear about what you are seeking from your relationship. If you do not know, ask the person you are seeing to give you some time to figure things out. Do not lay around, flirt, or give them signs that you don't feel well. Do not let anyone pressure you into doing anything you do not feel is right.
  
• Avoid being alone with anyone who makes you uncomfortable. Your instincts will tell you which situations to remove yourself from. If you are invited to have tea or a drink with someone new- even during broad daylight DO NOT GO ALONE. Take a friend or friends with you- it can prevent many misunderstandings, and in many parts of the world it is okay to take friends with you without getting permission first- and even if it isn't okay, who cares? Take care of yourself first.
  
• Do not go to an apartment or hotel room if you do not know the person well, and don't let them follow you to your room. Once you are in their abode- or they in yours- it is much more difficult to extract yourself from a bad situation.

Tips:

• Trust your instincts! If you feel uncomfortable in any way DO NOT TRY TO NORMALIZE IT! Tell your date you are sick and about to puke, or get out of the situation some way. Never doubt your instincts or tell yourself the instinct is wrong or you misjudged him or her. Many people will look back and realize they had uncomfortable feelings before they had something bad happen.
  
• If all else fails drink water, or mix coke and sprite to look like a drink.
  Go to parties with a sober friend or a designated observer who is not drinking, who can keep an eye on you and make sure nothing bad happens.
  Always carry your own car keys so that you can always get away. They can also be used as weapons if need be.
  
• Carry enough cash for a cab ride home. Keep it as emergency cash and don't spend it. You may need it for other things, such as a being dumped on the side of a road or something. If you are in a foreign country, always have the name, front desk phone number and address of your hotel with you and written in a language that your cab driver can understand. Don't ever have your room number with that information. Leave information about where you were going, with whom, and when you should be back in your room- and how someone might find you.
  
• If you absolutely must, disable a would-be-rapist so that you can get away
• Be cautious of large punch bowls or drinks given to you by other people. It is very easy for people to slip drugs into them.
  
• Open your drink yourself.
  
• Don't share drinks.
  
• If you can see that they have condoms, or any other sexually oriented items that make you feel uncomfortable, don't say anything. Just get out of there!
  
• Don't go out with strangers.
  
• Call your parents if you are stranded somewhere- or a friend who will come and get you. What's the worst thing you parents can do compared to being raped, killed, or any other unfortunate things? Never feel that you can't call a parent or a close friend.
  
• Put a close friend, parent, or someone that is always concerned about you and would answer your calls, on speed dial. That way if you are ever in a compromising situation, you can just hit one number and call without anyone knowing.

Warnings:

• If he/she starts touching tell them forcefully to stop and walk away, preferrably to a place where there are other people.
  
• Always stay alert and aware of the situation you are in.
  In some cultures western women are perceived as "easy." This creates many problems for women who are traveling, and it creates an unexpected danger because you may not have done anything that you perceive as provocative. To be safe, NEVER ASSUME THAT THERE IS A NON-SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN- no matter what age- AND ACT ACCORDINGLY. In many cultures men and women are never casual, asexual friends, and if you assume there is a sexual undercurrent (even if it is the last thing you could imagine) you are be better prepared to protect yourself.
  If you are in a group, please look out for each other and don't let members of your group wander off alone or with someone unknown to the group.

Labels: things to avoid

There are many stories about drinks having been spiked with foreign substances and some of them unfortunately are true.The act of spiking a drink is done with the aim of causing the target to become disoriented, unconscious, or to lower the targets inhibitions. The purpose of this may be as a precursor to sexual assault, robbery, or even in some cases it may be an attempt to sabotage sports players before a game. Some of the drugs placed in drinks to create drowsiness or even unconsciousness include Rohypnol (Roofie) which is a sedative, GHB (Liquid X) a neuroprotective therapeutic drug which can cause unconsciousness, and Ketamine (Special K) an anesthetic used on animals. If you have any concerns because you are alone or you don't feel that the situation is quite right, it pays to keep alert and limit your drinking. The following are some suggestions to help you to identify and avoid drinks that have been tampered with when consuming beverages at a social event or bar.

• Stay with the drink service. If you are offered a drink by somebody you have only just met or barely know, stay at the bar as the drink is ordered and served. You will be able to see the bartender make it and hand it across the bar. Or, request that drinks be brought to the table by staff.
  
• Prefer unopened bottled drinks or cans over glass drinks. If you are not with people you can trust, have your drink from a bottle and watch the top being removed by the bartender.
  
• Hold your drink on the top. If you get a glass drink, hold it in such a way that your hand covers the top of the glass. Holding it with your palm over the top instead of against the side of the drink will make it harder for anyone to slip anything in without you noticing.
  
• Always keep an eye on your drink. Do not leave your drink unattended for any time. Give it to a friend to guard or finish it off before racing off to dance or visit the bathroom. If you have to leave it and you return uncertain as to its safety, leave it and get a new one.
  
• Accept drinks only from people you trust. If you cannot keep an eye on the serving of your drink, or you have any misgivings about the person offering you a drink, it is best to politely decline. If you are having drinks with friends, you will usually be fine; and ask them to keep an eye on you if you do go off with anyone unknown during the night so that if anything untoward does happen, someone else will be onto it straight away.
  
• Avoid sharing other people's drinks. This could be a ruse to lull you into a false sense of security. Never grab a drink or steal one off someone you don't know; you never know what is in their drinks and just because they can handle it doesn't mean you can.
  
• Look for obvious signs of tampering. Things such as your drink being moved from where you left it, the straw having been taken out or one put in, less or more liquid than you remember etc.
  
• Cease drinking anything that tastes funny. When you drink something that tastes off or unusual, stop right there and have no more. Immediately presume that the situation has become unsafe and either leave as soon as possible, or grab a friend to stay with or, better yet, leave together
  

Tips:

• Space your alcoholic drinks with drinks of water. This helps you to remain more alert, so you are less likely to become disoriented. Also, if anybody places a foreign substance in your water, it will be more likely that you will taste it immediately. (Again, though, many of the chemicals commonly used are tasteless and colorless!)
  
• Be aware that drinks can be spiked with alcohol, e.g. vodka, to get you drunk more quickly than you expect.
  
• Remember anyone can be a victim of a spiked drink. Just because you're male, or a teen, or older etc doesn't make you immune.
  
• Know that women can and do spike drinks as well.
  
• Watch for symptoms of being drugged: these include feeling drowsy, feeling ill, starting to feel that you are losing control, your limbs feel like they cannot move, dizziness and queasiness, and beginning to lose consciousness. These symptoms will come on far faster then drunkenness, so it is important to know how your body reacts to alcohol so you can tell the difference.Seek help immediately from friends or bar staff; or phone family and friends if you can't get immediate help where you are.
  
• If you see your friend displaying signs of being more inebriated than should be possible with the amount of alcohol they have consumed, act quickly to pull your friend out of the situation. Unfortunately, due to the fact that date rape drugs often have similar symptoms to simple drunkenness, it can be hard to tell the difference, making them even more dangerous.
  
• Date rape drugs are for the most part colourless and odourless or may be masked by the beverage in which they are placed.

Warnings:

• Be aware that any drink can be spiked, including juice, water, tea, coffee, soda and milk.In addition, cigarettes can be spiked; So DON'T SMOKE.
  
• It is never a good idea to leave a bar with someone you do not know – if, however, you feel that it is absolutely necessary to do so, be sure to inform friends who you are leaving with and where you are going.
  
• Remember to always drink responsibly; a study in the UK found that only 2 percent of a pool of 1,014 rape victims had their drinks spiked with sedatives. It is far more common in a bar situation for someone to take advantage of the fact that you are simply inebriated. Remember that alcohol is also a sedative with amnesiac effects.
  
• One study conducted again in the UK on 75 patients, mostly female, who told doctors or police that their drinks had been tampered with, suggested that in fact the patients had been rendered helpless by binge drinking.
  
• Don't get too paranoid reading this article. While the above tips and warnings are good advice to follow, you don't have to spend every evening you go to a bar in fear and terror. If you are worried about being drugged and/or raped all the time and it is impacting your life, you may have a fear or anxiety disorder, which can be treated.

Things you need:

1. Reliable friends
   
2. Mobile phone/cell phone
   
3. Escape plan
   
4. Keen eye for details
   
5. A plan to not get drunk with strangers

Labels: things to avoid

• 
  Stay aware. Do not jog with your iPod because attackers are looking for easy, distracted prey. The same can be said for talking on your cell phone. On the other hand, if you feel someone is following you, it can help to pull out your cell phone and pretend to be talking to someone because your "conversation partner" would be aware of an attack. If your potential attacker is going for "no witnesses", they might back off and change their mind. You can even pretend that you are meeting up with someone and they are already here/heading this way VERY soon. Don't say "5 minutes" or the attacker may only decide to take action quicker. If they think you are in safe hands or will be in less than a minute, they might back off.
  
• Learn to trust your gut instincts. It could save you from being raped or worse. If you feel uneasy or unsure in anyway, it is in your best interest to get away and get help. Use common sense.
  
• Understand that your hairstyle could benefit an attacker. Ponytails are the number one style that rapists look for because they are easy to grab and you can be held with them.
  Carry defensive items only if you know how to use them. Anything that could hurt a potential attacker can also be used against you if you are not well trained and comfortable with the item. If you are going to carry a handgun, make sure to take classes in its use, practice often at a firing range, and apply for a concealed weapons permit; if you carry a knife, take a course in the most effective way to use it. Remember that even an umbrella or purse can be used as a weapon against an attacker, and has less chance of being turned against you.
  
• Yell, shout and draw attention to yourself. Attackers usually have an idea of how the attack will happen. Disrupt that idea. Fight like hell and yell loudly and strongly; There is a common belief it is better to call "fire" than help - however many believe this is misguided, if not plain wrong. The 'fire idea" is based on the belief that people don't want to get involved in assisting therefore you should trick them into believing there is a fire. This could be unwise. Numerous bystander studies (e.g. Latane and Darley) show the reason bystanders do not help is a simple one; confusion. Bystanders are unsure of what is going on; do the attacker and victim know each other? etc. This would suggest it is better to "tell it like it is" and yell "POLICE!" or "HELP!" This - especially "POLICE"- is more likely to scare the attacker and alert bystanders to the truth of the situation - not confuse them further by yelling "Fire" when there clearly isn't one. Studies have also suggested this effective strategy: pointing at an individual bystander and saying "you sir, in the white shirt, I need your help now! - This man is attacking me..." Tell it like it is, and point to an individual.
  
• Take a basic self defense course, such as Rape Aggression Defense (RAD). Contact your local police office for programs such as RAD.
  
• Stay careful at parties and bars. Don't drink anything that somebody gives you--always open and order your own drinks. Never, ever leave a drink unattended for even a moment. Keep your hand over the top of your drink. Do not accept a drink from a date unless the bartender or waitstaff have delivered it straight to you. Don't want to be rude? Take it to the restroom with you and dump it. DO NOT leave yourself or friends alone and drunk with someone you have a very bad feeling about. Tell other people where you are going. Be aware of public bathrooms in clubs and bars. Women have been attacked in the ladies room if it is deserted.
  
• Think and practice being careful at dance clubs or other places with loud music. Sometimes it is so loud that nobody will be able to hear you cry for help.
  
• Work on being assertive. If somebody is giving you unwanted attention, tell them to back off. There is no need to be polite when somebody is making unwanted sexual advances.
  Plan that if a rapist is in your car and is sitting in the passenger seat with a weapon to you, they will tell you to go somewhere where it is more convenient and they is less likely to be witnessed. Whatever you do, don't drive off. Drive into something that will cause your car to crash. The airbag will save you. It is better to be in a car accident than get raped and possibly killed. However don't show your rapist that is your plan. Stay as calm as you can inside and look for other cars, bridges, brick walls, etc.
  
• Understand that Vans are the #1 vehicles used in rapes. Rapists will park next to the driver's side and, as you are trying to get in, they will pull you into the van. If there is a van on the driver's side of your car, go in through the passenger's door. If there are vans on both sides, go back to where you were and get someone like a security guard to walk you to your car. Don't park any place that feels unsafe.
  
• Practice being careful when going into your house or car because someone could easily push you in and lock the door behind you. Be aware of your surroundings; carry your keys ready in your hand and look around you before opening the door.
  
• Keep personal information private. Don't advertise your info verbally or on the Internet. Also, be very wary of meeting up with people that you meet on the Internet. If you must do so, bring a friend or friends.
  
• Understand vulnerability factors: According to the CDC vulnerabilities include prior sexual abuse as a minor, being female (gender), being under the age of 18, and alcohol or drug use.

• Walk with confidence. Look up as you walk and stand up straight; pretending as though you have two big panthers on either side of you as you walk may sound silly, but it can help boost confidence. Attackers are more likely to go for those who they think cannot defend themselves.
  
• Notice and leave identifying marks. A large bite mark on their face, punctured eyeball, deeply scratched leg, ripped out piercing etc. is easily identifiable, as are memorable tattoos, etc. Go for weak spots like eyes (poke hard), nose (hard upward motion with the lower part of your open hand) genitals (grab really tightly and squeeze or punch hard) etc. to make sure the person's hands aren't free to punch or hold on to you and you can run for it. If you are in a place where you can't run, notice your surroundings and leave a mark on them if you can. Rapists have been caught because their victims left identifiable teeth marks, nail marks, or DNA in the cars or rooms where they were assaulted.
  
• Bring A DOG, if going to the park alone, beach, etc. If you have a dog with you, it's like having another person with you. Large dogs are intimidating to predators, even if your pet isn't exactly brave. If you don't have a large dog, bring the small one anyway. Chances are when your little pup sees you in trouble, he'll be more than happy to protest. Predators won't usually attack a person with a dog large or small because dogs usually make such a racket you're bound to draw attention, which is a no-no for predators. Who knows, your weenie dog may just surprise your attacker when he takes some ankle.
  
• Mentally Prepare if you are taken by a rapist. You must do everything in your power to escape even if it means hurting yourself.. Sometimes the rapist will kill his/her victims to prevent himself/herself from being caught or identified. If the rapist comes in your home, throw heavy items through windows and at them. Make as much noise as you can. Do not get in the car or van with them if you can help it. Jump out of a moving car or crash the car if you are driving. Look for every opportunity to hurt them and escape. Take your extreme fear and turn it into fighting anger at your attacker. Do not be passive unless you feel you have to because a weapon is on you. Never give up without fighting a battle.

Tips:

• A rapist is not interested in SEX. The person is interested in taking control, humilating and gaining power over his victim by being violent and aggressive. Rape is not an act of LOVE.
  When at home-play it safe by never letting people into your home that you do not know. If it is a handyman,cable repair,etc tell them you need to see a PHOTO ID and their truck. If you don't TRUST them instantly, than do not let them in. If they do not look you in the eyes, have a PHOTO ID, drive a truck with the company name on it, or wear a uniform-that is suspicious behavior, do not let them in your home! Ask them to call the company while they wait outside then have the company call you or call the company yourself.
  Being the victim of child sexual abuse actually doubles the likelihood of adult sexual victimization because of increased levels of PTSD (Parillo et. al., 2003), (Sarkar, N.; Sarkar, R., 2005). Ways to seek help to avoid this are listed below.
  Remember that attackers usually want easy prey, so don't cooperate! If you are sexually assaulted, yell things which make it clear everyone that the attacker's actions are unwelcome.
  
• Intervention such as counseling for mental health issues (like PTSD) and for possible addictions related to the abuse can help people with child sexual abuse histories overcome some of the abuse-related sequel that make them vulnerable to adult re-victimization
  
• Other factors influencing recovery are emotional support from friends, relations, social and community supports
  Studies find that victims of multiple assaults have higher levels of PTSD than victims of only one assault. So if someone was assaulted twice in childhood and adolescence they would be at an increased risk of adult assault.
  
• One study found that of the 433 sexually assaulted respondents, two-thirds reported more than one incident
  
• Rape can and does strike anyone at anytime. Age, social class, ethnic group and has no bearing on the person a rapist chooses to attack. Research data clearly proves that a way a person dresses and/or acts does not influence the rapist's choice of victims. His/her decision to rape is based on how easily he perceives his target can be intimidated. Rapists are looking for available and vulnerable targets. Statistics were obtained from various sources including the study Rape in America, 1992, National Victim Center, The Federal Bureau of Investigations and the National Crime Survey.
  
• Your natural instinct can save your life. Pay attention to it. It is like radar and can prevent serious problems. A common reporting of women that are about to see their rapist is a quiet voice inside telling them something is very wrong. Listen and respect that voice. If there is a hint of danger about the person or surroundings, do not ignore it.
  
• Rapists do not necessarily look like criminals or "evil". The person could look very normal, well groomed, athletic pleasant, young, etc. They might not look evil or like a bad guy. They could be your boss, a teacher, a neighbor, boyfriend or girlfriend, or relative.

Warnings:

• Keep gas in your car. Be practical and do not take any chances. If you know you are going for a long trip, keep track of your gas and make many stops to fill up.
  
• Follow the firearms laws of your area.
  
• If you should choose to own and use a firearm, understand that they are extremely dangerous, especially if not used and stored properly. Use a trigger lock mechanism to ensure that your weapon will not be used against you, even if by accident (this is especially important if you might ever have children in your home). Educate yourself about the proper cleaning and maintenance of your firearm to ensure that it will always be in working condition if you should need it.
  
• Beware of victim blame and rape myths
  
• Always remember The Only Person Responsible For An Assault Is The Perpetrator.If you have been assaulted, no matter what you do, or do not do, in any case

It Is Not Your Fault.

Labels: things to avoid

• Be very cautious of who you trust. Most students who actually get raped knew who their rapist was.
  
• Learn how to defend yourself from an actual rapist.
  
• Learn about the effects of date rape drugs and alcohol.
  
• Go on group dates instead of being alone with your date until you have gotten to know him better.
  
• Don't drink alcohol just to impress guys. Women tend to get drunk a lot faster then guys.
  
• Watch how much alcohol any drink contains because some drinks can get you wiped out if you drink enough of them such as wines, hard cider and cocktails.
  
• Drink out of containers you open yourself and watch your drink at all times.

Tips:

• If you think you have been drugged, go to the emergency room at the hospital to get tested immediately!

Labels: things to avoid

• 
  Watch the funny drunks! It can be really funny to simply watch those idiots act stupid. Take photographs and share these with them at a later date. They can also be used to show them how stupid they look and act when they drink too much.
  
• Act like you're drunk yourself. Your friends won't know the difference and then you can just do stupid things with them. And you won't have to worry about having a hangover!
  
• Watch a movie.
  
• Find other sober people to talk to. This could be a good opportunity to make new friends. You likely are not the only person not drinking at a party.
  
• Find drunk people to talk to. When your friend is buzzed, maybe she'll tell you that secret you've been dying to know.
  
• Play bartender. You can also help water down drinks to help out your friends.
  
• Play strip poker with all the drunk people, odds are you will win. If you don't, you can always cheat. They won't know because they're drunk.
  
• Become the designated driver to ensure your friends arrive home safely. This may or may not be "fun", but it may make you the hero of the night, and may give you a warm fuzzy glow for being a good guy or gal.
  
• Get some! if you are sober and someone you fancy is drunk, chances are that you may be able to take advantage of them (in the good way)

Tips:

• If your good friends are getting really drunk, give them lots of water. This will prevent what would otherwise be a terrible hangover for them, and make them indebted to you (which is always a good thing).
  
• Remember, a lot of the fun of being at a party, regardless of whether there is alcohol, is simply being with people. When people are together and drinking, they generally think they are much more drunk than they are.
  
• Don't drink and drive. Don't let your friends do it, either.
  
• Although it's nice to help "babysit" drunk people, you're not under any obligation to take care of them unless they're imminently about to do something stupid. If you want to leave a party you're not having fun at, that's your right.
  
• Make sure to secure a ride home. You don't want to be driven to a party only to have your ride get trashed.

Warnings:

• Not having fun is bad for your health, so have fun.
  
• Sharp pointy objects and drunk people are a bad mix.
  
• If you attempt to blackmail someone with a picture, it may be harmful to your health and it can be illegal.
  
• If you feel that the others are doing things you would rather not, like become rowdy, sexually harrassing, or neighbors are threatening to call the police, leave. You can get into trouble inadvertently by being at an out-of-control party or situation and it's best to not be there when and if something bad happens.

Labels: things to avoid

• 
  Remember that one glass is okay. One glass of wine is okay. It shouldn't affect you. Just drink slowly and enjoy yourself. Just don't drink anymore. If you know you can't stop at one glass, then don't have any.
  
• Make A Plan! Try this with your one close friend. Every couple of months you can go out and have a good time. One of you must stay sober and the other can drink all they want.
  
• Distract Yourself! If you must drink, then a distraction might be good for you. Go dance or talk or order another one of your favorite non-alcoholic drinks.
  
• Get Educated! If you know what the alcohol slowly does to your body it might be less tempting to drink.
  
• Look For Support!. A buddy who refuses to drink, a family member or just about anyone can stop you from over doing it.
  
• Rubber Band Flick Trick! Wear a rubber band around your wrist. Every time you get the temptation flick yourself.

Tips:

• Remember to drink for taste. If you are thirsty order water with your alcoholic beverage so you can drink the water to relive thirst and relax when you drink your alcohol.
  
• A therapy session can do you good if your are an active drinker.

Labels: things to avoid

Labels: things to avoid

Labels: things to avoid

Abortion is not just a simple medical procedure. For many women, it is a life changing event with significant physical, emotional, and spiritual consequences. Most women who struggle with past abortions say that they wish they had been told all of the facts about abortion and its risks.

Spiritual Consequences
People have different understandings of God. Whatever your present beliefs may be, there is a spiritual side to abortion that deserves to be considered. Having an abortion may affect more than just your body and your mind- it may have an impact on your relationship with God. What is God's desire for you in this situation? How does God see your unborn child? These are important questions to consider.

BY: MAG

Labels: things to avoid

Labels: things to avoid

Labels: things to avoid