"Getting Hitched - Are you ready? " - Chrome
Monday, March 23, 2009, 4:34 PM
The Parent Factor

Every parent in the world will tell you that you can only be in a relationship when you're old enough and the age range again varies from parent to parent. there are some who thik by the time their children hit their late teens, between the age of 16-18, they are not just ok with their children getting involved with a significant other, but even expect their kids to do just that.



For these parents, getting older is the same as becoming more ready to be in a relationship. Yet, as we all know, life works in mysterious ways and the power that be often do not keep in mind your age when striking you with Cupid's arrows. I have agree with a friend of mine who belives strongly that " finding that someone who feels that same sense of mutal attraction is a wonderous thing and should never be passed up".



But on the other hand, there are those who think that children need to focus fully on their studies before embarking on something such as a time consuming relationship. When their parents think this way, most teens end up sneaking around behind thei parents back, but this usually backfires badly because a secret like this can never be kept for long.

We've all seen movies and read fairy tales, but as romantic as it seems to defy odds for the sake of love, be it your parents, teachers or friends, being ready for a relationship goes beyond just having feelings for another.


The Time Factor

Most people I know don't seem to realise that being in a relationship is, more often than not, a life-changing affair. i'm sure taht you'll notice that it simply gets harder and harder to ask the "attatched" people out for gatherings.

"I'm gonna catch a movie with my girl."
"I'll have to go cheer him on his basketball finals."
"I'm meeting her for a study session."

Those regular session of watching English Premeir Leaugr on Saturdays suddenly become not so regular. That weekly session of yoga together with girl friends simply eveporates into thin air. While it all isn't necessarily a bad thing, it does mean a major change to what you do with your other time, as this significant other becomes a big part of your life.

Realising the enormity of the amount of time a relationship takes up is just the first step. You have to be ready to make, and accept, the changes in your life. Yes, these changes may seem like "sacrifices", a mindset that often leads to arguements. But at the endof the day, they are actually a series of conscious choices that should be made with a clear mind.

The Balance Factor

Having emphasised the need for a sound mind when deciding on how your life together will be like, there is a need for balance, as in all the things in life. A female friend once told me "I watch football with him on saturday nights, but he has to go shopping with me the day before that." This is great, as she has found a balance point that is acceptable to both parties.

Similarly, there needs to be a balance with other areas of your life, such as school, family and friends. There are only so many hours in one day and as much hours in one day and as much as you may want to spend every minute with your significant other, the world isn't just made up the two of you.

Some people tell me they acomplish this by compartmentalising their time. It's a little like having a school timetable for your life. Sat mornings care meant to be spent with your families, the afternoon to be spent with your friends, the evening with your partner, while sunday is study and homework all day.

This takes alot of discipline, as weel as remembering your priortities and being flexible when the need arises. If there is schoolwork to be done, there is no time for a movie. Both parties have to understand that sometings are more important than others, and accept that willing.

Making it work

I remember being told by a dear friend, " being in arelationship is about helping each other grow." As cliched as that sounds, there is a great deal of truth in it. Like Tom Cruise said to Renee Zellweger in Jerry Maguire, the epitome of a relationship is the phrase, " You complete me", I think being together can mean forming a more fulfilling life. However, nobody said it was going to be an easy thing to do.

There really is no hard way to ensure that a relationship orks out. But being aware if what to expect of life with a significant other, coming to terms with the probable changes and readying yourself for them can mean a world of diffrence. The rest is up to the how you and your bf or gf communicate and how sucessful you guys are at achieving a balance in both your personal lives and your life together.
Marty



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